Remembering a Life That Touched Many

From Alliance to Affection - Celebrating the Man Who Welcomed Me In

One of my earliest memories of my father-in-law whom I started addressing affectionately as Mama, is from a visit he and mami made to our residence in Sion Koliwada sometime in 1993. I later learned that the purpose of this visit was to formally discuss the proposed alliance between his daughter Geetha and me - a relationship that would soon be sealed by engagement and later by marriage. I was aware that my mother, through my chithi, had initiated some preliminary discussions with their family regarding this important matter.

Although I had certainly seen him at earlier family functions, at the time, he was just another mama to me. As horoscopes were exchanged and matched to the satisfaction of astrologers on both sides, the conversation gradually moved towards fixing a date for the engagement.

At that point, my perception of the man who would become my father-in-law was that of a serious, composed individual — someone who spoke sparingly, always to the point, and with a soft but firm voice. He was never one to beat around the bush; he spoke only after carefully considering the implications of his words.

Having lost my father at a young age, there were only a few elder male figures who deeply influenced my life. My uncle, L.R. Ramaswamy, guided me in my early love for music; my principal and mentor, CA MHB, charted the course for my professional journey. Mama was the third such influence — his clear thinking and grounded approach greatly shaped the person I would eventually become.

After our wedding, the numerous visits to my in-laws’ home during family functions gave me more exposure to the unique dynamics of their household. Mama was the dependable breadwinner of the family, mostly dressed in a cream shirt and tailored brown trousers - the picture of a dignified professional.

As the time neared for Geetha’s delivery and she moved to Kalyan, my visits there became more frequent. These frequent interactions gave me a better understanding of the family, especially Mama. I soon realised that his seemingly strict demeanour was merely a surface trait - beneath it was a deeply kind and compassionate soul.

As I got to know him better - whether at home, at functions, or in public settings - I began to appreciate the many dimensions of his character. He treated everyone, from immediate family to acquaintances, with the same integrity, thoughtfulness, and poise.

Shortly after our marriage, Mama retired from his long tenure at Voltas Ltd. His retirement coincided with his Shashtiapthapoorthy - the 60th birthday celebrations - held with much warmth and enthusiasm at the Ashok Nagar residence. Soon afterwards, the family booked a flat in a newly launched housing project, slightly away from the city’s hustle. Mama and Mami were genuinely looking forward to a peaceful and relaxed retired life.

Peaceful it certainly was - but not relaxed by any measure. Given Mama’s wide-ranging knowledge and sense of responsibility, he was soon drawn into several local initiatives: the Kalyan Satsangam, the South Indian Association, and the Gokul Vihar Co-operative Housing Society, among others. Those who approached him knew that they could count on his dedication and meticulous execution. Mami would often remark, half-jokingly, that Mama had become even busier post-retirement - so much so that even close family needed to “book an appointment” to catch up with him!

He was a man who truly valued family bonds and shared experiences. His visits to London to spend time with Harish’s family - especially around the birth of Sneha - reflected not only his affection but also his deep sense of involvement in significant family milestones. Later, when Harish moved to Dubai, Mama made it a point to visit him there as well, maintaining those close ties across continents.

I also cherish the memories of our family vacation to Singapore and Malaysia - Mama's quiet enthusiasm, his measured curiosity, and his trademark observational humour added a unique flavour to that trip.

He and Mami joined us on several trips to Tirupati for Lord Balaji darshan - occasions made even more special by Priya’s first visit and the divine blessings we sought as a family. One particularly memorable moment was when they joined us during the celebration of our 25th wedding anniversary - their presence turned the occasion into something even more meaningful and blessed.

One of our more recent vacations was a memorable trip to Kerala - a blend of leisure and devotion - where we visited several temples.

A particularly heartwarming memory was when Mama and Mami, along with my mother, attended Grandparents’ Day at Rohan’s pre-KG school, Little Wonders. Little Wonders had organised fun games and activities for the grandparents, and true to form, Mama participated enthusiastically - even winning a prize, much to everyone’s delight.

Mama shared his birthday with his youngest grandchild, Sreya — a coincidence the family cherished, occasionally celebrating with a joint cake-cutting where grandfather and granddaughter stood side by side.

Among the many family functions he attended over the years, the last major celebration he was part of was especially close to all our hearts - the engagement and wedding of his first granddaughter, Priya. Despite their long-standing decision never to shift out of Kalyan, both Mama and Mami made the thoughtful choice to temporarily relocate to Wadala Dosti for both functions. They did this not just out of affection, but to ensure that we could fully benefit from their rich experience in organising and conducting traditional family events - their quiet guidance and steady presence were invaluable during those emotionally and logistically intense days.

Another significant milestone we celebrated as a family was Mama and Mami’s 50th wedding anniversary in June 2017. True to his nature, Mama — who was never one for show, pomp, or self-celebration — was initially hesitant about having a formal function with guests, relatives, and well-wishers. But when he saw the enthusiasm and earnest efforts of the family, he graciously agreed. It turned out to be a memorable gathering filled with warmth and joy — a true celebration of their enduring bond.

The evening was lively, with snacks, soft drinks, a chaat counter, games, and a ceremonial cake cutting. I unexpectedly had my own moment in the spotlight as well, with a cake marking my 50th birthday. Sneha, whose birthday also falls in June, joined in the celebration too. Living in Dubai at the time, this was one of the rare occasions she got to celebrate with such a large group of family and friends — a moment that meant a great deal to all of us.

One of his daily rituals was spending at least an hour reading the newspaper, a habit he maintained diligently till his last days. It wasn’t just a casual read - he would pore over editorials, analyse headlines, and often discuss key developments with sharp insight.

Over the years, this interest grew into a deeper passion for politics. In his later years, Mama became a staunch admirer of Prime Minister Narendra Modi, whom he regarded as a decisive leader and astute politician. He followed political events closely, often defending his viewpoints with conviction and characteristic calmness in family discussions.

Mama’s keen interest in the stock market was a natural extension of his sharp mathematical mind and lifelong fascination with numbers. His ability to grasp financial nuances, trends, and patterns reflected not just curiosity, but a disciplined analytical approach. As a tax consultant, I had the privilege of assisting him with his income tax matters — and our interactions often went well beyond just preparing returns. He was genuinely interested in understanding the basis of every calculation, asking insightful questions, and discussing the reasoning behind specific figures. These conversations were always thoughtful and respectful, and for me, they were a reflection of his intellectual sharpness and his deep-rooted integrity in financial affairs.

Mama’s deep-rooted spirituality was another defining aspect of his life, especially in the later years. He spent long, unhurried hours each day in prayer, drawing strength and peace from his daily spiritual routines. Until a few years ago, he was a regular at bhajans, Vishnu Sahasranamam chanting sessions, and participated devoutly in Pradosha Pooja and abhishekam rituals, often chanting Rudram with remarkable clarity and devotion. When age and health no longer permitted him to step out, he continued these practices at home with the same steadfast discipline.

He also took great joy in teaching the Narayaneeyam to devotees who were eager to learn, generously sharing his knowledge and guiding them with patience. His commitment to performing tarpanam and shraddham for his parents was unwavering — he never compromised on the traditional method, no matter the circumstance. Through his example, Mama inspired many youngsters in the family and community to adopt and respect these spiritual practices, silently showing that faith and discipline can coexist with modern life.

He had a remarkable way of resolving conflicts - not with raised voices, but with logic and a calm demeanour that commanded respect. Whether it was a family matter or a community-level issue, people often sought his opinion, knowing they would receive a fair, well-considered perspective.

Despite his packed days, Mama never lost sight of life’s simple pleasures. Evenings over coffee were often enriched by anecdotes or humorous takes on everyday life - always delivered with a sparkle in the eye and a well-timed quip.

Through it all, what stood out was his unwavering commitment to his principles - honesty and humility. He never preached, but lived these values consistently, setting an example for everyone around him. His influence wasn’t loud or overt - it was the kind that left a quiet but lasting mark.

Even in his final years, his mind remained sharp, his presence dignified, and his values uncompromised. Though his absence is deeply felt, yet his presence continues to live on in our conversations, our memories, and the values he upheld.

For me, he was not just a father-in-law - he was a guide, a silent mentor, and a pillar of wisdom whose life will continue to inspire us throughout our lives.